good grief!
Grief isn’t an emotion we experience only when someone we love dies.
It can be felt with any loss, including the loss of your job.
When I lost my job, I expected to feel disappointment I didn’t expect to feel numb, restless, unmotivated, fatigue in ways sleep couldn’t fix.
It took me a while to understand I wasn’t just adjusting to a new chapter, I was grieving the last one.
Grieving lost relationships. Grieving a sense of purpose. Grieving the version of myself I thought I’d become. Grieving my vision of self.
In leadership, grief often goes underground. We mask it with productivity, stay busy to avoid discomfort, or wrap it in forced optimism.
Side note: Leaders are almost always optimistic. Most people won’t follow a pessimist, “Let’s go, I don’t think this plan will work out, but please join me!”
Unaddressed grief doesn’t go away, it simply gets buried, and we end up carrying it into our next season.
Here are three things that helped me start processing grief in a healthier way:
Name the Loss. It’s easy to minimize what we’ve lost, especially if it doesn’t seem “big enough” to grieve. But clarity begins with honesty. Write it down. Say it out loud. Acknowledge what’s missing.
Give Yourself Permission to Feel. Grief isn’t weakness, it’s proof that something mattered. Let yourself feel the full range of emotions without rushing to fix them. Sadness, frustration, even relief; they all have something to teach you.
Find Safe Spaces to Talk. You don’t have to grieve alone. Find a trusted friend, mentor, coach, or therapist who will simply listen. Sometimes, the act of putting your story into words is what begins to lighten the weight.
Grief in leadership is often invisible, yet it quietly shapes how we step into the next season. By naming the loss, feeling it fully, and sharing it in safe spaces, we make room for healing and renewal, so we can move forward without carrying the weight of the past.
